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Why is it? Random questions i ask myself.

12/20/2015

Maybe it is just me, but here are some of the head scratching questions I occasionally ask myself:

 Why is it when I order a small drink at a fast food restaurant and I am told “Sir, we only have medium and large” I want to say “Well, then according to the theory of relativity your medium IS the small?” (Actually, I don’t know that the theory of relativity has anything to do with it. It simply irritates me. Just give me your smallest one and let’s move on).

 Why is it that rich and famous celebrities who barely made it out of high school are domestic and foreign policy experts? (And supposedly “smart” politicians crave their endorsement?).

 Why is it patriotic and spiritual to pray for the President you voted for, but the President you didn’t vote for is destroying America and an idiot? (I have heard this often in reference to both Bush and Obama. Maybe they are both deserving of prayer. And maybe they are both . . . never mind).

 Why is it that motorists merging onto the Interstate think the Yield sign refers to the guy already on the highway and not to them? (And, they usually don’t even look as they force everyone to move over).

 Why is it that no one seems to know how to use “I, me, and myself” correctly? (Myself and my wife were just wondering about it. If you figure it out, please tell my wife and I).

 Why is it when I am ordering a coffee at Starbucks I just can’t bring myself to say “tall” when I am ordering the “small?” (They can’t make me say it).

 Why is it that everyone to the left of me is an intolerant, narrow-minded liberal and everyone to the right of me is an intolerant, narrow-minded conservative? (Maybe I’m an intolerant, narrow-minded centrist?).

 Why is that people who rarely, if ever, read the Bible are experts on what Jesus would do? (Oh, that’s right, they’re rich and famous).

 Why is it that a person’s opinion has come to matter more than truth? (I’m all for the freedom to have lots of opinions, even contradictory ones. But, having one doesn’t make it right. That’s why it’s called “opinion” and not “fact”).

 Why is it that so many of us emphasize truth to the exclusion of love and others of us emphasize love to the exclusion of truth, when Jesus perfectly embodied both? (I know, I know, he was perfect and we are not. Still, can we work a little harder at holding to both?).

 Why is it that everyone on the highway driving faster than me is a reckless idiot and everyone driving slower than me is a slow-poke moron? (I don’t think I am as obnoxious as I am starting to sound).

 Why is it that I enjoy being a “senior” only when there is a discount involved? (I just wish they would decide how old you have to be to qualify. Is it 55? 60? 62? 65? I can’t keep track).

 Why is it that you are actually still wasting your time reading this post? (I do appreciate it, though).

Do you have any random questions you ask yourself? In the meantime, Merry Christmas and thanks for reading.

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people leaving church? maybe it's not tough enough.

12/13/2015

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There has been a lot written recently about people leaving church. The primary concern has been about millennials. However, my limited observation is that there is also a pretty significant exodus of life-long Boomer church members. I have no idea whether research would confirm that observation (I’ll leave that up to Ed Stetzer and George Barna to figure out), but I know plenty of people my age who have disengaged and even dropped out.

Why are people leaving? All kinds of reasons have been given. I think one of the most compelling reasons is that the ongoing marginalization of the church is “encouraging” cultural Christians to drop the pretense. That is, being part of a committed community of believers is just starting to be too tough.

The flip side of that statement is that many people may be also leaving church because it hasn’t been tough enough.

What do I mean? Sociologists and anthropologists have long studied why groups cohere. Social Bonding Theory tells us that group cohesion involves attachment, commitment, involvement, and beliefs. That makes sense. But, the question is, what is it that creates and reinforces those four elements? What happens in groups that actually causes bonding? What lead the way are rituals and shared experiences. Think about some of the more common group bonding experiences:

**Military and combat experience. These life and death situations create the proverbial “band of brothers.”

**Sports teams. Winning and losing together create lifetime memories that only get better and better.

**Fraternities, sororities, and social clubs. Life-long friendships are made, especially among the pledges who shared “heck” week.

**Young couples who become friends while having babies and learn to be parents together.

**Mission trips that involve travel, hard work, close living quarters, and a focused purpose.

There are many other examples and they all involve some type of ritual and experience which could be described as demanding, difficult, challenging, dramatic, and even traumatic. Would it be fair to say that tough times create community better than good times?

So, why are some people leaving the church? Because too many churches and too much of what most churches offer is low risk and low reward. A church that has bought into too much consumerism offers non-demanding rituals and experiences. Come, sit, soak, and be anonymous. We won’t expect much, demand anything, and will cater to all your felt needs. Worse, when you have a generation of millennials that may have been over-protected, sheltered, and coddled, then when the going gets tough . . . they leave. (And, no, it is not just millennials).

What I am saying? Perhaps some people are leaving church because they eventually find it too easy. The experience isn’t significant enough (not even in the sociological, social bonding sense), there is nothing expected or demanded from them, and it is all just rather bland. They use church for their own self-interest and self-satisfaction, expect and want convenience, and . . . we give it to them.

Now, some churches have recognized the lack of true community, of true koinonia. These churches talk, therefore, of “authentic community” and “doing life together.” I don’t know how effective they have all been, but they have the right idea. Authentic community – true koinonia – requires doing life together, especially and including the tough, demanding, and messy aspects of life. These experiences create the bonding required for community, for true relationships, and for sticking it out when times get tough.

As the church is marginalized more and more, and as the difference between cultural and committed believers shakes out, it is the tough times – the significant rituals and the life-changing, demanding experiences – which will both create community and be the line of separation between cultural and committed Christians. So, you want authentic, life-together, koinonia? You want the “one anothers” of Scripture to be real? Then create, expect, demand, and hope for some tough times. Make it worth being in church. Make it mean something. Make it about a whole lot more than “me.” In fact, be thankful for marginalization and potential persecution. They will really create community.

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Why is it? Random questions i ask myself.

people leaving church? maybe it's not tough enough.

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